This isn't right. vol.1

*Longratheruntrueandconfusingnamehere* Shopbob $325

Designer : (reluctant, apologetical) "Grandpa, I know you think most of the clothes I make are a little inappropriate... (excited) I want to redeem myself now, so I took one of your dres- I mean SWEATERS and... Well, here's a picture."
Grandpa : (appalled) "God..."
Designer : "Doesn't she look lovely in it? Such a divine expression!"
Grandpa : (shocked, almost terrified)"..."
Designer : "Is something wrong?"
Grandpa : "Son..."
Designer : (still cheerful and enthusiastic) "Oh yes, I'm sorry I stole your sweater but don't worry, I've got a $325 pricetag on it. I'll get you a new one."
Grandpa : "..................................................I am speechless."

Considering his grandson doesn't need more money than sense and realising he shouldn't contribute in any way to the overload of said money Grandpa rewrote his will leaving the young designer nothing but a pair of his underwear. Sadly this story will have an ending. Stay tuned.

When you can't get Chanel's gun shoes...

Maffia Shoes for up-and-coming mobsters and gangsters $57.99

Well, this is one of the options for footwear when you decide to get into organised crime. However, I strongly suggest getting a pair of crocs. For the times when you have to beat sense into those who don't want to give you their hard-earned money or go to war with your chosen enemy or need to kill people for a living. Yes. Crocs. Because they are comfortable. Because they are light. Because they are quirky and fun. Because blood and gore on rubber blobs ain't so painful to look at. In fact, I bet every self-respecting mobster has a pair of crocs to step into when going on a job. Wouldn't want to get all that damn dirty, smelly, scummy evidence on $3000 Armani's, right? Life's not easy...

Then again, these are pretty sweet.

While I am already typing here, I'd like to take the opportunity to hit myself in the head. *Does so* Been very busy and very strange lately but I will write more often from now on.

Kate Moss for Topshop

Liberty Poppy Bandeau Dress, £65

Now that's a pretty horrible Photoshop work there (if anyone can prove to me it was intentional, I will make it my personal holy mission to go spank some sense into the author of the idea - be it Kate Moss herself or some poor sod from Topshop) but I have to admit that I am quite particular to the dress which with ease is the staple of the whole collection for me. In short, the whole collection is full of things either average or items just plain ugly on their own. I don't want to look at it through the filter of Salvador Dali's sheer fabulous either because as interesting these clothes may appear first they aren't very original or...

Well, as with most celebrity and non-designer 'designer' fashions it always seems like you have seen it on the person herself before. Same thing with Victoria Beckham. Posh tends to wear very figure-hugging and often almost rigid clothes. So she makes her collections the same kind. The problem is that the dresses she wore herself were not made by herself and designing dresses by those dresses is, simply put, remaking ideas someone else had before her.

Kate Moss's creations are... very Kate Moss. There isn't much that shines out to me except the metallic leather trousers (metal leather? leathered metal? in any case - :D ). There are a few nice pieces, the aforementioned pretty good dress and some that might make the stomaches of the mildest of us turn (snakeskin hotpants anyone? Then how about a dead bird laid around your shoulders?). Also worth of note are the 'floral and tea' dresses. One quite similar to the number over which everyone went bananas last time. I don't expect the same reaction.

Jacquard vest. £40
Snakeskin hotpant. Feels good to say and I bet it feels good against your skin. £50

I don't know why but I think Kate Moss's grandma didn't die in her sleep. Clover Heart Print Cardi £48

Something about this Printed Smock Dress seemed appealing. But then I remembered I have to do the dishes. £100

By the way, in other news, I was in Norway for a week and caught some nasty illness. I'm still not very well, so I'm sorry if there won't be any news of me or that the only news there will be look like they have been written by a drunk on laxatives. (Why am I talking like someone is reading this?)

A very furry post.

I'm not sure why the model isn't feelin' it but I sure am. Faux fur, $105 from Silk&Sable

Let's get my views on fur straight, before going to the point of this post.

• Fur is the most ridiculous reason you can have for killing animals. (The necessary reasons for killing animals are food and leather. Food because it keeps us alive and leather because it's uses are numerous.)
• The animals in discussion, the ones whose pelt and fur is used in fashion, foxes, minks, rabbits do not give much leather and are definitely not food. Being quite small, they don't give much fur either, which leads to even more corpses.
• These animals are brought up in cages, without notable care or ability to move around which is nothing alike natural conditions for these wild animals. The industry does nothing to improve their situation.
  
• I like the look of fur but I don't like the carnage around it as the industry does it.
• I would only wear real fur of two categories: 1. Vintage. Because those animals were killed a long time ago and when I pay for it, I don't support the industry, but the e-bay dude. 2. Straight from a hunter, whom I know doesn't keep the animals caged in his backyard and instead goes through the rigorous activity of hunting in the wild. Altho the morality of hunting as a hobby is argument material, I still prefer them for killing the animal in the wild as it should be done, instead of birthing them into a lifelong torture where they will definitely face a gruesome end.

The reason for that rant is that I am kinda-sorta wanting a fur shawl, stole or shrug. I have a habit of always being cold and it greatly annoys me in situations where I can't cuddle up to my incredibly warmblooded man(seriously, he's a radiator). And I don't want a full coat since I've got a bit of an attitude already and I'd probably accidentally get myself a job of the pimpin' kind. And I'd get bitchin' lame and in the end no one's gonna be my friend for I have to spend a couple years in prison because my fancy fur coat and his friends told me to get it on with the ho's and develop a habit of coke. So yeah, I'm keeping it cool.
I'm going to aim for the faux/vintage. Faux fur has recently made many a breakthrough and now it is even hard to make the difference between real and faux. The feel is similar and it looks great. As an extra plus, it's only a fraction of the price of it's real and bloody mother of sorts.

White Fox Faux Fur Wrap $89 from here

I have nothing to say except GLAMOROUS! It's not real fur, it's cute as hell and I can so imagine Marilyn Monroe in it. The wrap definitely has an Old Hollywood feel to it. This, flamy red lips, curly hair, LBD... and you will be right at home at any fancy event. Or in my case, I'll just dress up and go make random people go WTF on the street. The site itself offers a wide array of faux fur products (not modeled by douchebags and hoes, as most fake fur sellers like to advertise), you should definitely check it out if you're interested.

From e-bay, vintage.

This little number is real fur . Looks like it is in great shape and doesn't have much wear. The colour and style is a bit more forgiving. It would look great dressed up with a sleek dress or dressed down on a black coat, when you're heading out. Perhaps make note for long gloves and a cloche?

Also from Ebay, auction ending very soon, vintage and real fur.

We are not very well-known, but our flag is awesome.

Emilio Pucci Ari print hooded top, €280 Netaporter

The designer may not know that Estonia exists, the lucky owners may not know Estonia exists, but this top is making me feel patriotic like nothing has before. But even if it didn't, I'd still adore it. The shape is great and the pattern will instantly slim you by at least 15 pounds. Plus, despite is being a hoodie (something which greatly robs any garment's appeal for me), it looks sophisticated and chic. Too bad about the price tho.
In the words of Friedrich Nietzsche (translated from german to estonian to english, which kills), I'll close this post and let you wonder which side the real meaning of my double-meaning quote I mean : "But this lesson I'll leave to you as a farewell, you fool: where you can no longer love, there you must go away! "

This is how mishaps snowball together

Rick Owens, 141.66 euros, buy now!

So perhaps Rick Owens wanted to make a swimsuit. So perhaps he had good intentions. So perhaps he just forgot that real boobs need a little extra. So perhaps he couldn't find the right fabric either. So perhaps he didn't quite finish around the crotch. So we will definitely see it on Sienna Miller.

Naive arrogance makes you look better*

£24 from Kuyah

Maybe you tried to buy a 3.- (0.2euro) candy bar with a 500.- (32euro) bill, not because you had an undying desire to see the salesperson counting bill after bill and coin after coin for half an eternity but because you sincerely believe that if you want a candy bar and have money and are in a shop then you should by all means buy it. Or did you let a guy, who had just spent six months against his will crying and sweating and bleeding in a boot camp for a measly 3000.- paycheck, get you a cup of pretty damn good coffee and then not say a single word to him for the rest of the evening? Or perhaps you can imagine yourself as a Rambo-esque villain landing in a helicopter, guns blazing, in a remote, backwards village with nothing better to say than "HA-HA, PEASANTS!"

If that all comes naturally for you... Yellow pants will suit you well. Otherwise, having the attitude of Salvador Dali helps every strand of facial hair and every technicolor adventure to become fabulous. Because if you can swap clothes with your grandma or stick flowers onto your 'stache (real or not) only causing people to respectfully give you tea and way, then you are a true genious indeed.

*Also, I just bought a pair. Sh*t was SO cash.